The Body as an Emotional Three-year-old

I write from twenty years of clinical experience touching people, touching bodies. From this experience I have discovered and uncovered many things about our bodies.



Bodies are separate entities. They are a miracle of creation. The functionality is so complex and so beyond even what our own minds can fathom. Trillions of chemical processes are happening in microseconds to flex our muscles, digest our food, create thoughts and impulses, breathe, pump blood, feed the tissues, carry out waste products and impurities, and so on. The body literally has a mind of its own, separate from our intellect. Hormones, neurotransmitters and ganglion are constantly doing processes our intellect has no clue about.

In our lives things happen to us. Sometimes the effect is lifting and sometimes it bogs us down. If we take occurrences personally we will get really weighted down. Our intellect can reason these occurrences away and we say to ourselves, “Everything is fine; no problem here.” But our bodies hold on! They literally store past hurts and pain and they do it with or without our notice. Bodies are not rational. They live in the moment, just like a three year old child. When they are joyful, if you let them, they will jump and skip and shout. When they are sad they will cry and even weep. When they are angry they will burn.

We have been taught to stuff all these emotions as to not disturb. In some ways I agree with this and in some ways I disagree. If we all ran around the grocery store like those “out of control” children that cause us to judge, the world would be chaotic. Some order is a good thing in societies. But sometimes the self-control goes too far. There is a time and place to express all things.

I am lucky to live near the beach and in a place where with a lot of open nature. Letting our “three-year-old” come out and express itself is such an important part of our overall health. First we must find a quiet place where we feel safe. Let yourself sink down into your own body. If you are not accustom to this you can find the assistance of a body therapist. Ask yourself to quiet the intellect and ask the bodymind to come forward. It takes practice so be patient. Whatever comes up just give it love, just like you would love your child. Don’t reason, understand or judge. Just let whatever comes up be, and let it express. Let yourself cry, scream, jump for joy, spin in circles, do somersaults, or whatever!

Music and anything creative, I believe, helps us to process what our bodies hold on to as well. Get some water colors, glue stuff together, play music and dance! Cry when you need to cry and laugh when you need to laugh. We have been given these magnificent tools to express and create. Clearing the debris of old past hurts, fears, and mistrusts can be the most freeing experience of your life! Each cell (and atom) is held together by love and vibrates with joy! That is who we truly are.